IBD

Or, Inflammatory Bowel Disease. It's an umbrella term for Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis. I was diagnosed with Crohn's back in July. Everything points to it, except for a test called the IBD blood test. That pointed strongly towards UC. My gastroenterologist still feels it's Crohn's, but is being cautious about it. Which is understandable. She also said that one test has been shown to not be entirely accurate, too. 

I'm still trying to get my head around it being a 'disease' and I'll have to deal with it for the rest of my life. At least it's not like cancer. But, there is no cure for Crohn's, either. Crohn's is an autoimmune disease as well, and I never thought I'd have one. It can be fatal through complications, and if people don't get the proper treatment early enough. Also, the idea that my body is essentially eating/attacking itself, then plumping up with inflammation in my guts can be scary. 

I'm kind of in a stage of denial. (Not sure if this is exactly it...) I'll make sure to watch my symptoms, take my meds, etc., everything I'm supposed to do in other words. But, I have this weird detached feeling about it. Like it's happening to someone else, and I'm just curious about the results. (Found the colonoscopy pics beautiful, even though they were showing me ulcers...) It doesn't feel like it's really happening to me. I ignored it for a couple of months. But, I'm also glad there was evidence something was going on. That summer was horrendous, what with all those tests, symptoms, the fear of not knowing a thing, doctor's visits, colonoscopy/endoscopy, etc. It felt like it was never going to end. 

Also, the treatments may create more symptoms and make things worse. It all depends if the benefits outweigh the risks. I started with an anti-inflammatory med called balsalazide. Had to take 9 huge pills of it a day. It probably helped me a lot at first. I've gone down to 6 pills a day. I don't think I've had too many side effects from that, but it's usually used as kind of a supplement with something else. I started taking azathioprine in August. It's an immunosuppressant and mild chemo drug. (The 'chemo' part really scares me!) I'm now at such a level that I have to especially be careful around sick people, hospitals, cuts, etc. Going from like an overactive immune system, to one that's being suppressed so much, is taking some getting used to. I've been sick 2 or 3 times since we've upped the dose. That was around mid-September. It's rare for me to be sick. Normally, I might be sick maybe once every couple of years. So, this really is different for me. I remember my gastro telling me that the longer I'm on it, the greater risk I'll have of getting lymphoma. So, that's another scary thing added to the mix.

I'm kind of angry at it, too. My test results were improving until the last blood draw. Suddenly my sed rate (it tests for inflammation, and is a good indicator of remission) went up. It's the first time it's gone up since they started monitoring it. It was getting so close to normal! I hope it's not worse the next time it's tested, which will probably be towards the end of the month. Although, my symptoms seem to be getting worse again. At least, that's kind of evidence of it, too. Anyways, I might periodically bring up thoughts on this in the future, as well.